When someone you love is depressed, it sometimes feels as though no matter what you do, it
can’t help. This struggle is part of what makes depression such a difficult disease. As much as the person with depression may seem like they are shutting you out or pushing you away, the truth is – they need your support. And they may need it most of all during the holidays when they feel so out of step with the rest of the world.
It isn’t that you can’t talk with your friend or loved one, there are just some things to keep in mind which can help you communicate the love and care that you feel.
1. Even though the season is hectic, make time to just be there.
Holding hands or making time to sit with the person communicates love. If you want to say something, try statements like “I always love you” or “You are an important person in my life”. True statements about your positive feelings are comforting.
2. Words are so powerful.
Avoid critical statements or words that tell the person how to feel better. You may think you know just what will get them over the hump, but instead of telling them what you think, ask them “What can I do for you?”
3. Small things mean a lot.
Make time for face-to-face visits, but supplement those times with little reminders that you are thinking of them. Stay in contact with cards, text messages and emails. Bring them a meal. Stop by just to say hello.
4. Try not to minimize what they are feeling.
Depression is not just in their head. They aren’t just being overly-sensitive. They wish that they could re-focus onto others, but depression is a disease with symptoms. Listen to them, affirm your love for them and let them know that no matter how long it takes to get past this, you are for them and with them.
For more ideas on how to help your loved one, talk with the professionals at Family Guidance Center. They are available all through the year as your loved one manages the symptoms of living with depression.
