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Tag Archives: anger management

Break the Cycle and Learn Anger Management

Anger 2The family of origin is a powerful place of influence. If the family unit is a positive and healthy example, then members will work hard to emulate the dynamics modeled for them. If, on the other hand, anger is a common part of family interactions, members may need to consciously work to learn more positive ways of relating. Anger management is a skill and it can be learned.

It may be helpful to note that while anger is a serious problem, it is not an unusual relationship problem. Many marriages and families struggle with one or more individuals who don’t know how to modulate their angry feelings. The hopeful news is that it’s possible to learn coping skills when you struggle with anger management. The real danger is not experiencing trouble with anger, but in assuming that it is an unchangeable character trait.

Everyone experiences anger, but not everyone allows it to flow unchecked or damage key relationships. Since everyone experiences anger at some point, how can you know if your anger is out-of-bounds?

  • Do you or others around you feel your anger is disproportionate to circumstances?
  • Do you often say or do things in anger that you later regret?
  • Do you frequently find yourself in the midst of angry confrontations?
  • Do you have stomach pains, anxiety or high blood pressure?
  • Do others mention your need to better control your anger?

If these describe you, you may feel embarrassed or ashamed and therefore hesitate to reach out and ask for help. But reaching out for help to learn coping skills is important. Even if you come from an angry family it isn’t too late to break the cycle and learn healthy anger management skills.

At Family Guidance we can help you to develop new ways of responding and relating that keep anger in check and family relationships intact. Call us today and find out how we can help.

Positive Anger Management

Every human being experiences anger. It is an acute and powerful feeling which people can experience across a wide spectrum of intensity. Some people allow their anger to be expressed outwardly in an explosive way. Others, who shun this kind of demonstration, may choose to hold their anger within. Implosion (internalizing anger) and explosion (externalizing anger) are both problematicAnger 2 ways of dealing with the strong but common emotion of anger.

It’s Healthier to Let it Out than Hold it in
As uncomfortable as it is when people erupt into angry outbursts, it is actually better to express anger than it is to ignore it. Holding anger inside without expressing it will not make your anger go away. Instead, suppressed anger will make itself known in other ways.

It can turn into depression, frequent headaches, high blood pressure, anxiety, digestive illness or skin conditions. Even if it doesn’t manifest in a physical or psychological illness, be assured that stuffed anger will still infect your relationships. In some cases, suppressed anger may come out in violent or criminal behavior.

Don’t Explode, Do Practice Anger Management
While it is better to give expression to anger rather than to pretend it isn’t there, it’s not likely to be helpful to explode all over the people around you. Rather than give in to explosive outbursts of anger or silent avoidance of anger’s presence, there is a healthy middle ground in which anger is acknowledged and managed.

1. Self Talk
Recognize your anger, then talk yourself through it. Spend a few minutes telling yourself to “be calm” until the strength of emotion passes. Then turn your angry thoughts into a more positively directed direction.

2. Journal
Write down when you feel angry. Over time you will see what commonly triggers your anger and can work on that issue.

3. Empathize
Admit to yourself that you feel angry and then ask yourself how the other person may feel. Empathizing with others can diffuse angry feelings.

4. Assertiveness
There is an important difference between aggression and assertion. An important part of healthy anger management is learning to be assertive – calmly and orthrightly explaining how you feel – without becoming aggressive toward others.

Assertiveness is a skill which can be practiced. To find out how to develop this valuable skill, contact the professionals at Family Guidance Center . We can help you establish your own solutions for healthy anger management.